How to Breakup with Someone
How you can break up with someone who loves you.
November 28, 2012
Here are some tips that will teach you how to bravely end a relationship for the welfare of both parties.
Make an Assessment
- Have a solid reason to end the relationship. Being temporarily upset with the behavior of your girlfriend or boyfriend is not a valid excuse for you to initiate the break up. Mood swings also don’t fit into the category. Your decision must be based on a series of unresolved conflicts and a pile of unhealthy emotions.
- After knowing your reasons, make that firm decision. Regrets shouldn’t be part of this whole ordeal. If your partner feels that you are not ready to let go of the relationship yet, then he or she will probably try to convince you to hold on longer which is totally unfair on your part.
- You can talk with your counselor or closest friend beforehand. This will help you get ready to face your partner. You can even jot down your reasons for the breakup on a piece of paper if you find it hard to memorize things. Just be true to yourself and do everything you can to speak your mind when the moment comes.
- Don’t put all the blame on your partner. Discuss the things that make the relationship unhealthy for you and stop pinpointing your partner’s flaws. You’re not perfect yourself and if you want to save the friendship that you have with this person, then try not to judgmental.
Estimate the Time of the Conversation
- A shorter conversation can help you stay firm on your decision to break up. However, you are required to explain everything to your partner so the actual conversation might last for a minimum of one hour. If you want to leave as soon as you can, then you can set up a business meeting on the same day for you to have a reason not to stay longer.
- Break up personally and in private. You are even recommended to break up with your partner at his or her place. This will save you from worrying if he or she can get home safely if ever you are to meet on a public establishment for the conversation. This will also allow both of you to express more freely about the whole situation.
- If you’re living with your partner in the same place, then you would probably need to plan as to where you’re going to transfer after the break up. You can start packing up when he or she is not yet around or you can just do your packing when you have already delivered the news.
- Just stay calm throughout the whole conversation. Break it gently to your partner while letting him or her realize your intentions right away. Try not to raise your voice and talk things out like the mature individuals that you both are.
- Your partner would probably be violent or emotional about the breakup. You can also expect him or her to question, beg and even argue with you but you just have to stay firm on your decision. Don’t let you partner use emotional black mail to prevent you from getting out of the relationship.
Post Breakup 101
- Maintain a distance with your ex partner for a minimum of six months. Close all means of communication between the two of you. It’s time for you and your partner to live separately lives. All wounds would heal in time but now, you have to make the break up worth the pain by improving your way of living. Get to more about the inner you and you can even spend some time reflecting on your true purpose in life
- People all over the world break up most of the time. Thus, don’t feel so guilty about the whole situation. You are not the villain in the story unless you have intentionally cheated on your girlfriend or boyfriend. Moreover, as long as you have a valid reason for breaking up with your partner, then he or she would soon realize that living apart was for the good of both parties. It happened for the reason and it’s simply not the end of the world.