How to Ask a Guy Out on a Date
Tips on how you can ask a guy friend out for the first time.
These days, it’s not uncommon for a girl to ask a guy out. Some can pull this off with finesse, while some can’t imagine being able to do this. And let’s face it, asking a guy out brings mixed emotions. Some might get embarrassed, scared, intimidated or shy when asking a guy to go out on a date. Interestingly, most guys like it when a girl takes the initiative. They find it flattering and it eases the pressure off of them, making them more open and relaxed. If there’s a guy that you’re dying to ask out, here are some suggestions on how to go about it –
- Choose the right time and place. And always ask someone out in person. Asking someone to go on a date via email, a note or an SMS message is impersonal and a little rude. Remember, no pain, no gain. Plus, there’s always the chance that the guy will think it’s just a joke and that you’re not serious. It’s best to ask a guy out in a casual atmosphere, like when you see him in the hallway, the library or even at the elevator.
Try to ask him out when he’s alone. I don’t mean that you have to be in the middle of a desert or something, but both of you will probably feel more comfortable and less pressured if you’re in a quasi-private or quiet area. Not everyone can reply honestly or give their desired response if their friends can hear them, so having a private conversation with the guy you like can help you get an honest answer.
But don’t make catching him alone a mission. Don’t follow him around or hang out for hours in places you normally don’t, just for the chance to find him alone. Nothing turns off people faster than coming across as a stalker. If you're in a group, just lower your voice and casually tell him that you want to talk to him alone and then move a few paces away from the rest. Use your common sense in judging when to extend your invitation.
- Be confident. This might be a tall order for people who are naturally shy, but being confident in yourself will put you in a good light and make the idea of a date with you very tempting. Of course, telling someone to be confident is easier said than done. The truth is, no one can be totally confident all the time. Luckily, there are easy ways to fake confidence. For instance, one easy and big confidence booster is to look good. So put more effort in your appearance. When you finally decide to go for it and ask a guy out, try to look nicer than usual. It doesn’t mean that you should spend a lot of money at a beauty salon or buy a new dress. You can just wear any outfit you have that looks great on you; maybe put on a little make-up or sport a flattering hairstyle. Knowing that you look good will do wonders in boosting your confidence.
Be mindful of your body language. Be unwavering in your resolve that no matter how clammy your hands get or how violent the butterflies in your stomach get, you’ll keep your chin up, stand up straight, maintain eye contact and smile. You’ll feel good and show him that you’re a confident and spunky woman, which are very attractive attributes.
- Get a little flirt on. Smile at him. Make eye contact. Send some indication that you’re interested so he won’t be shocked when you ask him out. But don’t go overboard. Whatever your flirting style is, make sure it comes across as natural and not some moves that you have planned in advance. And don’t be discouraged if the smooth flirting you’ve envisioned didn’t go the way you planned. Remember that blushing or laughing can be flirtatious too.
- Decide on a specific date or activity you want to do. It’s easier to ask someone out if you invite him to a particular activity. You’ll feel and sound more confident and it would save you unnecessary stress of thinking of a plan when he asks you what you have in mind. For example, if there’s an upcoming dance in your school, ask him to be your date. Or maybe invite him to watch a sporting event or to join you for a hike.
Involve some of your friends and organize a group date. Going out with a group is easier for some as it eases the pressure of coming up with ways to make your date fun and memorable. Good activities for a group date are hiking, playing sports or having a movie night.
Go for a traditional date if you’re confident enough or you’re already comfortable with the guy. Invite him to dinner, either at a restaurant or to your home for a nice meal you’ve cooked yourself. A movie date, checking out a museum or going to a concert are pretty cool date activities too, especially if you both have the same interests.
- Take a deep breath and go for it. Don’t beat around the bush anymore. Treat it the way you would when you get a detention or when you have to go to the dentist; it’s best to just grit your teeth and get it over with. Phrase your invitation simply and stay calm.
- Remember that this can go either way. Prepare yourself for his answer and accept it gracefully. Hurray for you if he accepts your invitation. If he declines, smile and say something so he knows there are no hard feelings. Being rejected hurts, but it’s the way of the world. Accept it, don’t let it ruin your day and don’t be angry if you don’t like his answer. There’s always the chance that he might change his mind and ask you out. Crying, screaming or acting like a brat will definitely not win you points and will just turn him off. But if he does say yes and agree to go on a date, make sure you go over important details like when the date is, where you’re going and even who’ll be picking up who. And don’t forget to let him know that you’re excited about your date.
Now get out there and have some fun!