How to Learn to Forgive Yourself

Steps to start forgiving yourself.
by Updated June 21, 2013

It’s easy to forgive those people who have done you wrong, but it’s certainly difficult to forgive one’s self. When you have no one to blame but yourself, then all the guilt and remorse would surely come rushing in. Now, how do you get rid of all of that? How do you start healing yourself? How do you realize that everything has been done and there’s nothing that you can do about it?

For now, to start feeling better and live the life that you are supposed to have follow the steps below:

1.) Learn to accept everything that makes up who you are. This includes both of your strengths and weaknesses. When you fully embrace your personality, you start to believe that you don’t need to seek the approval of anyone else when it comes to your totality. You don’t need to apologize to anybody for expressing the way you feel. You may not be perfect, but you are you. That’s all that matters.

2.) Don’t be your own enemy and detractor. In a time like this, you need to be your own savoir. You need to believe that you are worth forgiving for you are only human and we are all bound to make mistakes. Don’t repeatedly punish yourself for the wrong things that you have done. You deserve to be happy someday and you shouldn’t be tortured by your past for the rest of your life.

3.) If someone keeps putting the blame on you or continuously nags you, then learn to play a deaf ear to that person. Don’t be the miserable victim that they want you to be. Show them that you are capable of forgiving yourself despite everything and that you can change to be a better person. Don’t give them the satisfaction of being able to pull you down. You are a strong individual and know that you can handle these unreasonable people.

4.) Don’t try to be perfect because you will never be. You have your own strengths and that already sets you apart from other people. Just enjoy your individuality and don’t see life as a constant battle of who is richer and more famous. Don’t treat anyone inferior to you because it would only turn you into a person who is hated by many. Gain love and respect from the people surrounding you by keeping your feet on the ground.

5.) Wear your heart on your sleeve. So what if you’re vulnerable, afraid or angry? People ought to know what you really feel for them not to assume that everything’s fine in your life and that you’re perfectly okay. Always remember that it’s okay not to be okay. You don’t have to wear that smile all the time and you don’t have to please everybody in your life. Don’t hide under your bedroom sheets and learn to embrace all of your emotions whether they are good or bad.

6.) Know the things that would happen to you if you don’t forgive yourself. You’ll shut everyone out and you’ll only live a life full of misery. You’ll grow old alone with no one to take care of you and you might even die earlier because of the great emotional burden that you’re carrying with you. You’ll always live in the past without giving yourself to chance to start anew. So, do want to be like this in the future? Think about it.

7.) Know how important forgiveness is. Forgiveness lets you heal completely. It makes you live in the present and look into the future ahead of you.

Do you deserve to be forgiven? Yes, you do. You just need to find in it you to forget about everything and be happy once again. Life is short. Thus, you need to use your time wisely and not just spend it mopping around about something that is already in the past.

8.) Take note of your progress. As mentioned earlier, you won’t be able to forgive yourself overnight. You need to work on it day by day for you to achieve what you want. It would be better for you to keep a daily journal for you to see that your life is slowly getting better everyday. Just always go back to the fact that you are worth forgiving for you to eventually get rid of the guilt that you are feeling.

9.) Simply take each day at a time. Things will soon get better and better as long as you don’t stop believing in yourself. This may sound absurd right now, but enjoy the ride. Forgiving yourself is a process that will allow you to know more about your personality. It’s something that you would surely not regret doing. So, take all the time that you need. Seek the help of your friends. You are not alone in your life and you need all the support that you can get for you to surpass this test.

Additional Tips:

If you have forgiven all of your enemies, then you can grant yourself forgiveness as well. It may not be an easy thing to do, but believe that it is possible.

Memories of the past will cross your mind from time to time. However, once you have completely forgiven yourself, then these memories won’t be able to hurt you anymore and you'll just treat them as hard lessons that you have learned in life.



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